Presenting the 14th annual Ameche League Dunce and Value teams:
Value team: (Starters in Bold)
Quarterbacks: Tony Romo (not TONY) (Captain), Tom Brady (Co-Captain), Derek Anderson, Brett Favre
Running Backs: Adrian Peterson (Min) (co-captain), Antonio "Huggy Bear" Fargas, Ryan Grant, Earnest Graham, LenDale White, Joseph "Live and Let" Addai
Wide Receivers: Randy Moss (co-captain), Wes Welker, Braylon Edwards, Greg Jennings, Brandon Marshall, Santonio Holmes, Andre "I missed half the freaking season" Johnson.
Tight ends: Jason Witten, Heath Miller
Kickers: Rob "My" Bironas, Mason Crosby
Defenses: Minnesota, Seattle
Dunce team:
Quarterbacks: JP Losman (Co-Captain), Eli Manning, Vince Young, Marc Bulger
Running Backs: Larry Johnson (Captain), Shaun Alexander, Rudi Johnson, Ced Benson, Tom Jones, Reggie Bush.
Wide Receivers: Lee Evans (Co-Captain), Donald "Duck" Driver, Anquan Boldin, Marvin Harrison, Calvin Johnson, Hines Ward, Mike Furrey.
Tight ends: Leonard Pope, Vernon Davis
Kickers: Jay "Mr. Mc" Feely, Neil "Nice" Rackers
Defenses: San Francisco, Baltimore
Other achievements of note:
The next time Derek whines and carries on about some injustice in one of these Leagues, keep this in mind: In his football picks column, Bill Simmons told of a friend of his who was in a $100K a head fantasy league. This past week, his friend lost by 5 points - and he had Westbrook.
Ah, yes, that would explain it: A sign spotted at the Giants/Redskins game this past week: "He's Adopted."
All I want for Christmas: A remake the movie "Knocked Up" with TONY (in the money role), Ed "EA3" Ahlberg, Jim McKenna and TONY's brother PETE. All other cast stays the same, including specifically Kat Heigl.
And when this comes to pass, you'll see this exchange in the nightclub scene, for sure:
TONY: Hey, Ed, go ask that girl to dance
EA3: But, TONY, she has a ring on!
TONY: I don't care if she has a dick in her mouth, you ask her to dance!!
(The girl, all pissed off, holds her left hand in front of both of their faces, shakes it, and walks off.)
(Note: This really happened. And no, it never gets old.)
Proof once again that it isn't how the trade looks when it was made, but how it works out after the trade was made: Despite leading the NFL in rushing at the time he got hurt, Willie Parker had almost as many points as Frank Gore - and Gore is considered to have had a massively dissapointing season.
The biggest mistake Imus made: Bending over backwards repeatedly trying to apologize for his remark. First of all, as most of you married guys know, apologizing for something does nothing other than empower your better half. The more you apologize, or make self-effacing remarks, the deeper the hole you dig for yourself, and the weaker you make yourself look.
Second, he needed to know that all the apologies in the world were not going to help his cause at that point. Indeed, the more he apologized, the more the media and the Reverend Als in the world turned the screws. I saw it, and it made me sick. Did anyone show any more mercy than if he didn't apologize? No. Did all the good work that Don did with sick kids matter worth a damn? No. He broke the cardinal rule of this society: Don't say anything that could in any way even remotely be taken as derogatory or racist. For this, this will tag him the rest of his days. And it shouldn't be.
Was it the smartest thing that he could have said? No. Was it something that, even given that I would not suffer any adverse consequences from saying it, I would have said? No. But at the end of the day, it was just words, and part of being an adult is shaking off words that hurt. Sticks and stones. (For that matter, other parts of being an adult is making up your own mind about stuff and what you believe in and how you treat people, and not blindly following the lead of some dumbkauf just because he has a radio show.)
No, I am not a fan of Imus. Yes, I see him as largely irredeemable old coot. And I do think that, if advertisers hadn't bailed, and if CBS wasn't looking for a wafer-thin (pronounced waffer-thin) excuse to get out from his onerous contract, he would still be at the Fan today. Indeed, after his "time-out", he is now back on the air, although perhaps not as prominent a piece of real estate as he once had.
If nothing else though Don has proven himself fiercely loyal over the years (ask Charles McCord and Bernie McGuirk) and his heart does seem to be in the right place with sick kids. I mean, what the hell has Reverend Al, or Reverend Jesse, or any of these holier-than-thou midgets in the media done to help other people? And I mean REAL help, and selfless help, not this "one world/common ground" bullshit that winds up being all about them and their ego first and foremost.
The thing that made me most angry about the whole thing: The self-serving press release from CBS honcho Les Moonves, who condemned Imus for his "repugnant" remarks and stated that such antics "would not be tolerated". This pissed me off for a number of reasons. First and foremost because it seemed equal parts holier-than-thou, and kowtowing to the PC police and the Reverend Als of the world.
The second thing that pissed me off was something that my brother pointed out - nowhere in the release did Moonves thank Imus for his efforts of the prior 20 years. When Imus went to WFAN in 1988, after the frequency switch to 660am, sports radio was still something of a grand experiment. Emmis Broadcasting (which would eventually be swallowed up by CBS) made the grand experiment of having a general interest radio show in the morning, followed by sports all day. The experiment was an unqualified success, which eventually led to WFAN becoming the highest-grossing radio station in America. It also paved the way for groundbreaking shows like the Mike and the Mad Dog show, Mike and Mike, Jim Rome, the Sports Bash and countless others. When ESPN Radio threw its hat in the ring in 1992, it vindicated that what the FAN had tried to establish was a viable business model. In a lot of ways, sports radio - and certainly WFAN - became what it is today because of Don Imus.
Plus, like him or hate him, Imus does have a loyal following, he did bring in advertising dollars, and he was a big part of that station's success for a number of years - including the CBS years, for which Moonves was a direct beneficiary. Yet, in his press release, Moonves revealed that it was more important to save his own hide, even if it meant unceremoniously and ingloriously kicking Imus to the curb.
Is that a guy you would want to work for? Is that a guy you would want to be friends or colleagues with?
In a related story, Yankee fans cheered wildly for Darryl Strawberry and Roger Clemens once upon a time too: The incident that Reverend Al Sharpton came to national prominence for - the whole Tawana Brawley thing - turned out to be largely, if not completely, a fabrication.
If the guy the Patriots takes wears a cream-colored pinstriped suit, then it will be time to panic!: The Patriots will get the 49ers 1st round draft pick next year, which will most likely be in the Top 5.
I guess Charlie Casserly wasn't an idiot after all: Reggie Bush, on IR and considered largely a dissapointment. Vince Young, starting and playing fair but definitely NOT having a banner year. Mario Williams - among the lead leaders in sacks, always commands a double team makes the defense better.
As I said at the time - and I think the post is still on this blog, somewhere - defensive end is one of THE toughest positions to fill on a team. More to the point, when a team develops a quality defensive end, they almost never let him go - witness the Pats with Richard Seymour, the Bills with Bruce Smith back in the day, etc. By contrast, running backs and quarterbacks can be found in the late rounds and/or the scrap heap. Willie Parker was undrafted, and Ryan Grant was lightly regarded. Justin Fargas was best known for being Huggy Bear's son, but when he got a chance he had some good games as well.
Nor do you need me to tell you that Tom Brady and Tony Romo (not TONY) went from being draft-day afterthoughts and bench jockeys to being studs among studs, leading all NFL players in jerseys sold and dating starlets. (The same applies in the real world as well - excelling in school and/or going to the "right" school doesn't guarantee success, although it makes it easier to achieve. By contrast, treading water in school grade-wise and/or going to a lesser regarded school is not a death sentence, although it does make success somewhat more of a challenge. In the end, the ones who want it the most and who work the hardest are the ones who achieve.)
Oh, for the good old days of the Sullivans and Victor Kiam: Although Arthur Blank seems like a nice guy and a decent human being, so far his football judgement leaves a lot to be desired.
First is the big bet he made on Michael Vick. I have to think that, especially with NFL Security being what it is, that Blank did this more out of desperation and hope than anything else. That his best hope for a franchise savior was the guy he already had on board.
He had to know that Vick, despite his image, was perhaps not all that he was cracked up to be. Maybe his sources didn't point out that he was involved to the level that he was. But he had to know, that it all was not savory, and indeed nothing in the media points to a complete breakdown in this regard. Additoinally, his brother Marcus's legal troubles had to be something of a red flag as well. Bottom line, there had to be signs there that common sense would have picked up.
Second is the way that he railroaded Jim Mora out of there. Mora got them to the NFC Championship his first year there (2004). Yet, after a mediocre 2006, he cut Mora loose. To replace him he hired Bobby Petrino, which was brutal on two levels. Aside from the fact that generally college coaches don't make it in the NFL and never have, is the fact that Petrino had never been more than 4 years at any one job, and he made a run at the Auburn job while at Louisville!!! What did this tell you about his wanderlust, his always thirsting for the next big challenge/payday? What did it tell you about his character?
Lastly is the way that he is letting GM Rich McKay twist in the wind, essentially offering his job to Bill Parcells. Yes, McKay has had some missteps, and everyone killed him for trading Matt Schaub. But even so, it's looking like McKay, in fact, sold high on Schaub. If the Texans decided to go with Sage Rosenfels next year, would they be able to get a #2 for him? No. Plus, McKay helped make the Buccaneers - the Buccaneers! - into a perennial winner, and seems to have done OK with the Falcons, his bad luck with QBs this year notwithstanding.
As Gregg Easterbrook has pointed out, teams often will make changes in coachs and GMs to give fans hope and to sell tickets and corporate sponsorships. This is true, but I think an equally powerful reason is that, maybe, this time you'll find the guy who makes it all work, who will be your coach for the next 10-15 years. Indeed, this is what happened when the Patriots replaced Pete Carroll and Bobby Grier with Bill Belichick and Scott Pioli, or when Jerry Jones replaced Tom Landry (who was well past his prime) with Jimmy Johnson (the exception that proves the rule that big time college coaches can't make it in the NFL). I think Mike Tomlin can be that kind of guy for the Steelers, too. Most of the time though, you get teams replacing hacks with equal or lesser hacks, like Marty Schottenheimer with Norv Turner, Nick Saban with Cam Cameron, Bill Callahan with Norv Turner, Bud Grant with Les Steckel with Bud Grant with Jerry Burns with Dennis Green with Mike Tice (sorry, Bruce), Steve Mariucci with Dennis Erickson....or Richie Petitbon with Norv Turner (sorry, Walt).
If Scott Bakula leaped into Arthur Blanks body to make things better, what would be the first thing he would do?: Hire Marty Schottenheimer and leave him alone. If the Falcons do nothing else other than hire Marty, he will have them winning and in the playoffs in 2 years and maybe sooner. Playoff failures aside, he's a proven winner at the NFL level, and players love him and play hard for him.
What would be the second thing Bakula/Blank would do?: Direct Rich McKay (that's Rich McKay) to rebuild the offensive and defensive lines. No, it's not glamorous, and it won't get you talked about on SportsCenter. That is, until you start winning 10-12 games a year and making deep runs in the playoffs.
Oh, and by the way, did I mention that I wouldn't hire them back to scrub toilets?: Charger GM AJ Smith (who railroaded Schottenheimer out of San Diego) on the likelihood of Charger assistant GM Buddy Nix and Marty reuniting in Atlanta: "They had an excellent relationship....they went out to dinner, talked every day...." Point being, Smith did not say a word about the quality of work that either one did while under Smith's management.
In a related story, Barry Bonds fully expects to be ready for training camp next summer: Prior to his initially pleading not guilty in Federal court, Michael Vick's attorney read the following passage from a statement that he stated were Vick's words:
"I would also like to apologize to my teammates, for missing the beginning of spring training."
As my brother said at the best man toast at my wedding: "I can't make this stuff up; I don't have to."
In any case, before the Dolphins make playoff plans, consider this: Bill Belichick has won without Bill Parcells - but Bill Parcells has never won without Bill Belichick.
The latest evidence of the toll the writer's strike has taken: Starting January 6th, NBC will be re-launching a big budget version of "American Gladiators", the ultra-cheesy late 80s-early 90s syndicated pseudo-sports show that made "Almost Anything Goes" look upscale by comparison. No, I don't think that Mike Adamle and Larry Csonka will be on board this time around.
If this writer's strike continues on, here are some additional shows that you can expect to see re-launched:
"The Joker's Wild" (with your host, Dan Patrick)
"The 1.98 Beauty Show" (with your host, Mario "Steampipe Alley" Cantone, and tell me he would not be a perfect fit for that show.) (insert off-color "Steampipe" joke here)
"Dating Game '08" (subtitled, "The Original Bachelor/Bachelorette")
"The Isiah Thomas Hour"
"Sing Along with Yoko"
From the same guy who says that George Foreman and Tony Bennett (yes, the boxer and the singer) are the same person: It says here that Wade Phillips, is the Joe Torre of the NFL. Think about it:
Prior to 1996, Torre had had multiple stops as a manager with very limited success; prior to 2006, Phillips had had multiple stops as a head coach with very limited success.
Both had been considered something of a punch line, although players did respect them and enjoyed playing for them.
Both went to iconic but faded franchises run by charismatic but meddlesome owners that, largely as a result of the owner's meddling, were many years removed from their most recent glory.
Both replaced autocratic and demanding leaders who had resigned of their own volition.
Torre inherited young players like Derek Jeter, Jorge Posada and Andy Petitte, who thrived under his leadership. Phillips inherited young players like Tony Romo (not TONY), Patrick Crayton and Marion Barber, who thrived under his leadership.
Torre also inherited notorious head cases and problem children like Dwight Gooden and Darryl Strawberry, and got them to (largely) walk the line and got the most out of them while earning their unconditional respect. Phillips inherited notorious head cases like Terrell Ownes, and got them to (largely) walk the line and got the most out of them while earning their unconditional respect.
Torre came to the Yankees after the Yankees lost a heartbreaking first-round series to Seattle that they very easily could have won. Phillips came to the Cowboys after the Cowboys lost a heartbreaking first-round game to Seattle that they very easily could have won.
Both quickly proved to be in the right guy in the right place at the right time. Torre won immediately with his new team and quickly silenced his critics. Phillips has won and won big his first season with the Cowboys and quickly silenced his critics.
How does this factor in with everything else? Keep reading.
Predictions for the Postseason and one more set of analogies:
AFC: Wild Weekend: Jacksonville over San Diego; Pittsburgh over Tennessee
Divisonal round: New England over Jacksonville; Indy over Pittsburgh
Conference champion: New England
NFC: Wild Weekend: Washington over Seattle; NY Giants over Tampa
Divisional round: Dallas over Washington; Green Bay over NY Giants
Conference Champion: Dallas
Super Bowl 42: Dallas 23, New England 20
You read that right.
Why do I, a Patriot fan, think Dallas is going to go the distance?: Because Dallas to me is a team of destiny. They remind me of the 2001 Patriots, and the Patriots remind me of the 2001 Rams, in so many ways.
The 2001 Patriots were considered a 'who-dat' team who got where they were by a bunch of lucky breaks, not the least of which was the snow game. The 2001 Cowboys are considered a team that is as dominant as they are because their conference is weak by comparison and have gotten lucky in a number of their games, including the Buffalo and Detroit games.
The 2001 "Max-Q" Rams were known as an offensive circus who were led by an overlooked but clutch Quarterback, who had a strong defense to match. Just like these 2007 Patriots.
The 2001 Patriots played the Rams tough at home before losing. The 2007 Cowboys played the Patriots tough at home before losing.
The Max Q Rams had a full-tilt, balls-to-the-wall 24/7 attitude that pissed other teams off. These Patriots have a full-tilt, balls-to-the-wall 24/7 attitude that pisses other teams off.
The 2001 Patriots were led by a coach who had achieved little in his prior head coaching stop, and who, at the time, was considered a question mark. The 2007 Cowboys are led by a coach who had achieved little in his prior head coaching stops, and who was considered a question mark.
The 2001 Rams were led by a coach who many did not like and who felt was just a wee bit too smug and sure of himself. The 2007 Patriots are led by a coach who many do not like and who many feel is just a wee bit too smug and sure of himself.
The 2001 Patriots were led by a previously obscure QB who replaced Drew Bledsoe and was considered somewhat unproven in big spots. The 2007 Cowboys are led by a previously obscure QB who replaced Drew Bledsoe and was considered somewhat unproven in big spots.
The 2001 Patriots played their final season at the old Foxboro Stadium before moving to Gillette. The 2007 Cowboys are playing their next-to-last season at Texas Stadium before moving to the new stadium in Arlington.
Not least of all, the 2001 Patriots were considered a team of destiny - from winning games that they probably shouldn't have won (San Diego in Week 5, the Snow Game, the conference championship against Pittsburgh) and were lightly regarded in the Super Bowl before pulling off what many considered a huge upset. Likewise, these 2007 Cowboys are considered a team of destiny, having won games that they had no business winning (Detroit, Buffalo after Romo threw 5 interceptions, 2 that were run back for scores), and certainly would be considered a prohibitive dog if this matchup does come to pass.
Of course, I'm a Patriot fan so I hope that I am wrong here. But, as Chris Berman always says, "That's why they play the games." Booyeah!
And finally, the Patriots need to figure out a way to work this into the game presentation before the playoffs: During Boston Celtics home games, once the game is in the bag, they play "Shake Your Booty" while showing fans of the Celtics dancing in the stands intersperced with '70s clips from American Bandstand. The money clip, as it were, is a shot of this dude, GINO, who as Bill Simmons put it has "a scary, George Lucas-looking beard" and with "Kevin McHale's arms (on a 6-foot frame)" Anyway, the fans eat it up, and when they show GINO (actually a cat wearing a Gino Vanelli tour t-shirt), the crowd goes bananas.
Hey, they had Youkilis, Papi and Schill at today's game with the trophys (which I'm pissed I missed out on BTW). Why the hell not this?
Value team: (Starters in Bold)
Quarterbacks: Tony Romo (not TONY) (Captain), Tom Brady (Co-Captain), Derek Anderson, Brett Favre
Running Backs: Adrian Peterson (Min) (co-captain), Antonio "Huggy Bear" Fargas, Ryan Grant, Earnest Graham, LenDale White, Joseph "Live and Let" Addai
Wide Receivers: Randy Moss (co-captain), Wes Welker, Braylon Edwards, Greg Jennings, Brandon Marshall, Santonio Holmes, Andre "I missed half the freaking season" Johnson.
Tight ends: Jason Witten, Heath Miller
Kickers: Rob "My" Bironas, Mason Crosby
Defenses: Minnesota, Seattle
Dunce team:
Quarterbacks: JP Losman (Co-Captain), Eli Manning, Vince Young, Marc Bulger
Running Backs: Larry Johnson (Captain), Shaun Alexander, Rudi Johnson, Ced Benson, Tom Jones, Reggie Bush.
Wide Receivers: Lee Evans (Co-Captain), Donald "Duck" Driver, Anquan Boldin, Marvin Harrison, Calvin Johnson, Hines Ward, Mike Furrey.
Tight ends: Leonard Pope, Vernon Davis
Kickers: Jay "Mr. Mc" Feely, Neil "Nice" Rackers
Defenses: San Francisco, Baltimore
Other achievements of note:
The next time Derek whines and carries on about some injustice in one of these Leagues, keep this in mind: In his football picks column, Bill Simmons told of a friend of his who was in a $100K a head fantasy league. This past week, his friend lost by 5 points - and he had Westbrook.
Ah, yes, that would explain it: A sign spotted at the Giants/Redskins game this past week: "He's Adopted."
All I want for Christmas: A remake the movie "Knocked Up" with TONY (in the money role), Ed "EA3" Ahlberg, Jim McKenna and TONY's brother PETE. All other cast stays the same, including specifically Kat Heigl.
And when this comes to pass, you'll see this exchange in the nightclub scene, for sure:
TONY: Hey, Ed, go ask that girl to dance
EA3: But, TONY, she has a ring on!
TONY: I don't care if she has a dick in her mouth, you ask her to dance!!
(The girl, all pissed off, holds her left hand in front of both of their faces, shakes it, and walks off.)
(Note: This really happened. And no, it never gets old.)
Proof once again that it isn't how the trade looks when it was made, but how it works out after the trade was made: Despite leading the NFL in rushing at the time he got hurt, Willie Parker had almost as many points as Frank Gore - and Gore is considered to have had a massively dissapointing season.
The biggest mistake Imus made: Bending over backwards repeatedly trying to apologize for his remark. First of all, as most of you married guys know, apologizing for something does nothing other than empower your better half. The more you apologize, or make self-effacing remarks, the deeper the hole you dig for yourself, and the weaker you make yourself look.
Second, he needed to know that all the apologies in the world were not going to help his cause at that point. Indeed, the more he apologized, the more the media and the Reverend Als in the world turned the screws. I saw it, and it made me sick. Did anyone show any more mercy than if he didn't apologize? No. Did all the good work that Don did with sick kids matter worth a damn? No. He broke the cardinal rule of this society: Don't say anything that could in any way even remotely be taken as derogatory or racist. For this, this will tag him the rest of his days. And it shouldn't be.
Was it the smartest thing that he could have said? No. Was it something that, even given that I would not suffer any adverse consequences from saying it, I would have said? No. But at the end of the day, it was just words, and part of being an adult is shaking off words that hurt. Sticks and stones. (For that matter, other parts of being an adult is making up your own mind about stuff and what you believe in and how you treat people, and not blindly following the lead of some dumbkauf just because he has a radio show.)
No, I am not a fan of Imus. Yes, I see him as largely irredeemable old coot. And I do think that, if advertisers hadn't bailed, and if CBS wasn't looking for a wafer-thin (pronounced waffer-thin) excuse to get out from his onerous contract, he would still be at the Fan today. Indeed, after his "time-out", he is now back on the air, although perhaps not as prominent a piece of real estate as he once had.
If nothing else though Don has proven himself fiercely loyal over the years (ask Charles McCord and Bernie McGuirk) and his heart does seem to be in the right place with sick kids. I mean, what the hell has Reverend Al, or Reverend Jesse, or any of these holier-than-thou midgets in the media done to help other people? And I mean REAL help, and selfless help, not this "one world/common ground" bullshit that winds up being all about them and their ego first and foremost.
The thing that made me most angry about the whole thing: The self-serving press release from CBS honcho Les Moonves, who condemned Imus for his "repugnant" remarks and stated that such antics "would not be tolerated". This pissed me off for a number of reasons. First and foremost because it seemed equal parts holier-than-thou, and kowtowing to the PC police and the Reverend Als of the world.
The second thing that pissed me off was something that my brother pointed out - nowhere in the release did Moonves thank Imus for his efforts of the prior 20 years. When Imus went to WFAN in 1988, after the frequency switch to 660am, sports radio was still something of a grand experiment. Emmis Broadcasting (which would eventually be swallowed up by CBS) made the grand experiment of having a general interest radio show in the morning, followed by sports all day. The experiment was an unqualified success, which eventually led to WFAN becoming the highest-grossing radio station in America. It also paved the way for groundbreaking shows like the Mike and the Mad Dog show, Mike and Mike, Jim Rome, the Sports Bash and countless others. When ESPN Radio threw its hat in the ring in 1992, it vindicated that what the FAN had tried to establish was a viable business model. In a lot of ways, sports radio - and certainly WFAN - became what it is today because of Don Imus.
Plus, like him or hate him, Imus does have a loyal following, he did bring in advertising dollars, and he was a big part of that station's success for a number of years - including the CBS years, for which Moonves was a direct beneficiary. Yet, in his press release, Moonves revealed that it was more important to save his own hide, even if it meant unceremoniously and ingloriously kicking Imus to the curb.
Is that a guy you would want to work for? Is that a guy you would want to be friends or colleagues with?
In a related story, Yankee fans cheered wildly for Darryl Strawberry and Roger Clemens once upon a time too: The incident that Reverend Al Sharpton came to national prominence for - the whole Tawana Brawley thing - turned out to be largely, if not completely, a fabrication.
If the guy the Patriots takes wears a cream-colored pinstriped suit, then it will be time to panic!: The Patriots will get the 49ers 1st round draft pick next year, which will most likely be in the Top 5.
I guess Charlie Casserly wasn't an idiot after all: Reggie Bush, on IR and considered largely a dissapointment. Vince Young, starting and playing fair but definitely NOT having a banner year. Mario Williams - among the lead leaders in sacks, always commands a double team makes the defense better.
As I said at the time - and I think the post is still on this blog, somewhere - defensive end is one of THE toughest positions to fill on a team. More to the point, when a team develops a quality defensive end, they almost never let him go - witness the Pats with Richard Seymour, the Bills with Bruce Smith back in the day, etc. By contrast, running backs and quarterbacks can be found in the late rounds and/or the scrap heap. Willie Parker was undrafted, and Ryan Grant was lightly regarded. Justin Fargas was best known for being Huggy Bear's son, but when he got a chance he had some good games as well.
Nor do you need me to tell you that Tom Brady and Tony Romo (not TONY) went from being draft-day afterthoughts and bench jockeys to being studs among studs, leading all NFL players in jerseys sold and dating starlets. (The same applies in the real world as well - excelling in school and/or going to the "right" school doesn't guarantee success, although it makes it easier to achieve. By contrast, treading water in school grade-wise and/or going to a lesser regarded school is not a death sentence, although it does make success somewhat more of a challenge. In the end, the ones who want it the most and who work the hardest are the ones who achieve.)
Oh, for the good old days of the Sullivans and Victor Kiam: Although Arthur Blank seems like a nice guy and a decent human being, so far his football judgement leaves a lot to be desired.
First is the big bet he made on Michael Vick. I have to think that, especially with NFL Security being what it is, that Blank did this more out of desperation and hope than anything else. That his best hope for a franchise savior was the guy he already had on board.
He had to know that Vick, despite his image, was perhaps not all that he was cracked up to be. Maybe his sources didn't point out that he was involved to the level that he was. But he had to know, that it all was not savory, and indeed nothing in the media points to a complete breakdown in this regard. Additoinally, his brother Marcus's legal troubles had to be something of a red flag as well. Bottom line, there had to be signs there that common sense would have picked up.
Second is the way that he railroaded Jim Mora out of there. Mora got them to the NFC Championship his first year there (2004). Yet, after a mediocre 2006, he cut Mora loose. To replace him he hired Bobby Petrino, which was brutal on two levels. Aside from the fact that generally college coaches don't make it in the NFL and never have, is the fact that Petrino had never been more than 4 years at any one job, and he made a run at the Auburn job while at Louisville!!! What did this tell you about his wanderlust, his always thirsting for the next big challenge/payday? What did it tell you about his character?
Lastly is the way that he is letting GM Rich McKay twist in the wind, essentially offering his job to Bill Parcells. Yes, McKay has had some missteps, and everyone killed him for trading Matt Schaub. But even so, it's looking like McKay, in fact, sold high on Schaub. If the Texans decided to go with Sage Rosenfels next year, would they be able to get a #2 for him? No. Plus, McKay helped make the Buccaneers - the Buccaneers! - into a perennial winner, and seems to have done OK with the Falcons, his bad luck with QBs this year notwithstanding.
As Gregg Easterbrook has pointed out, teams often will make changes in coachs and GMs to give fans hope and to sell tickets and corporate sponsorships. This is true, but I think an equally powerful reason is that, maybe, this time you'll find the guy who makes it all work, who will be your coach for the next 10-15 years. Indeed, this is what happened when the Patriots replaced Pete Carroll and Bobby Grier with Bill Belichick and Scott Pioli, or when Jerry Jones replaced Tom Landry (who was well past his prime) with Jimmy Johnson (the exception that proves the rule that big time college coaches can't make it in the NFL). I think Mike Tomlin can be that kind of guy for the Steelers, too. Most of the time though, you get teams replacing hacks with equal or lesser hacks, like Marty Schottenheimer with Norv Turner, Nick Saban with Cam Cameron, Bill Callahan with Norv Turner, Bud Grant with Les Steckel with Bud Grant with Jerry Burns with Dennis Green with Mike Tice (sorry, Bruce), Steve Mariucci with Dennis Erickson....or Richie Petitbon with Norv Turner (sorry, Walt).
If Scott Bakula leaped into Arthur Blanks body to make things better, what would be the first thing he would do?: Hire Marty Schottenheimer and leave him alone. If the Falcons do nothing else other than hire Marty, he will have them winning and in the playoffs in 2 years and maybe sooner. Playoff failures aside, he's a proven winner at the NFL level, and players love him and play hard for him.
What would be the second thing Bakula/Blank would do?: Direct Rich McKay (that's Rich McKay) to rebuild the offensive and defensive lines. No, it's not glamorous, and it won't get you talked about on SportsCenter. That is, until you start winning 10-12 games a year and making deep runs in the playoffs.
Oh, and by the way, did I mention that I wouldn't hire them back to scrub toilets?: Charger GM AJ Smith (who railroaded Schottenheimer out of San Diego) on the likelihood of Charger assistant GM Buddy Nix and Marty reuniting in Atlanta: "They had an excellent relationship....they went out to dinner, talked every day...." Point being, Smith did not say a word about the quality of work that either one did while under Smith's management.
In a related story, Barry Bonds fully expects to be ready for training camp next summer: Prior to his initially pleading not guilty in Federal court, Michael Vick's attorney read the following passage from a statement that he stated were Vick's words:
"I would also like to apologize to my teammates, for missing the beginning of spring training."
As my brother said at the best man toast at my wedding: "I can't make this stuff up; I don't have to."
In any case, before the Dolphins make playoff plans, consider this: Bill Belichick has won without Bill Parcells - but Bill Parcells has never won without Bill Belichick.
The latest evidence of the toll the writer's strike has taken: Starting January 6th, NBC will be re-launching a big budget version of "American Gladiators", the ultra-cheesy late 80s-early 90s syndicated pseudo-sports show that made "Almost Anything Goes" look upscale by comparison. No, I don't think that Mike Adamle and Larry Csonka will be on board this time around.
If this writer's strike continues on, here are some additional shows that you can expect to see re-launched:
"The Joker's Wild" (with your host, Dan Patrick)
"The 1.98 Beauty Show" (with your host, Mario "Steampipe Alley" Cantone, and tell me he would not be a perfect fit for that show.) (insert off-color "Steampipe" joke here)
"Dating Game '08" (subtitled, "The Original Bachelor/Bachelorette")
"The Isiah Thomas Hour"
"Sing Along with Yoko"
From the same guy who says that George Foreman and Tony Bennett (yes, the boxer and the singer) are the same person: It says here that Wade Phillips, is the Joe Torre of the NFL. Think about it:
Prior to 1996, Torre had had multiple stops as a manager with very limited success; prior to 2006, Phillips had had multiple stops as a head coach with very limited success.
Both had been considered something of a punch line, although players did respect them and enjoyed playing for them.
Both went to iconic but faded franchises run by charismatic but meddlesome owners that, largely as a result of the owner's meddling, were many years removed from their most recent glory.
Both replaced autocratic and demanding leaders who had resigned of their own volition.
Torre inherited young players like Derek Jeter, Jorge Posada and Andy Petitte, who thrived under his leadership. Phillips inherited young players like Tony Romo (not TONY), Patrick Crayton and Marion Barber, who thrived under his leadership.
Torre also inherited notorious head cases and problem children like Dwight Gooden and Darryl Strawberry, and got them to (largely) walk the line and got the most out of them while earning their unconditional respect. Phillips inherited notorious head cases like Terrell Ownes, and got them to (largely) walk the line and got the most out of them while earning their unconditional respect.
Torre came to the Yankees after the Yankees lost a heartbreaking first-round series to Seattle that they very easily could have won. Phillips came to the Cowboys after the Cowboys lost a heartbreaking first-round game to Seattle that they very easily could have won.
Both quickly proved to be in the right guy in the right place at the right time. Torre won immediately with his new team and quickly silenced his critics. Phillips has won and won big his first season with the Cowboys and quickly silenced his critics.
How does this factor in with everything else? Keep reading.
Predictions for the Postseason and one more set of analogies:
AFC: Wild Weekend: Jacksonville over San Diego; Pittsburgh over Tennessee
Divisonal round: New England over Jacksonville; Indy over Pittsburgh
Conference champion: New England
NFC: Wild Weekend: Washington over Seattle; NY Giants over Tampa
Divisional round: Dallas over Washington; Green Bay over NY Giants
Conference Champion: Dallas
Super Bowl 42: Dallas 23, New England 20
You read that right.
Why do I, a Patriot fan, think Dallas is going to go the distance?: Because Dallas to me is a team of destiny. They remind me of the 2001 Patriots, and the Patriots remind me of the 2001 Rams, in so many ways.
The 2001 Patriots were considered a 'who-dat' team who got where they were by a bunch of lucky breaks, not the least of which was the snow game. The 2001 Cowboys are considered a team that is as dominant as they are because their conference is weak by comparison and have gotten lucky in a number of their games, including the Buffalo and Detroit games.
The 2001 "Max-Q" Rams were known as an offensive circus who were led by an overlooked but clutch Quarterback, who had a strong defense to match. Just like these 2007 Patriots.
The 2001 Patriots played the Rams tough at home before losing. The 2007 Cowboys played the Patriots tough at home before losing.
The Max Q Rams had a full-tilt, balls-to-the-wall 24/7 attitude that pissed other teams off. These Patriots have a full-tilt, balls-to-the-wall 24/7 attitude that pisses other teams off.
The 2001 Patriots were led by a coach who had achieved little in his prior head coaching stop, and who, at the time, was considered a question mark. The 2007 Cowboys are led by a coach who had achieved little in his prior head coaching stops, and who was considered a question mark.
The 2001 Rams were led by a coach who many did not like and who felt was just a wee bit too smug and sure of himself. The 2007 Patriots are led by a coach who many do not like and who many feel is just a wee bit too smug and sure of himself.
The 2001 Patriots were led by a previously obscure QB who replaced Drew Bledsoe and was considered somewhat unproven in big spots. The 2007 Cowboys are led by a previously obscure QB who replaced Drew Bledsoe and was considered somewhat unproven in big spots.
The 2001 Patriots played their final season at the old Foxboro Stadium before moving to Gillette. The 2007 Cowboys are playing their next-to-last season at Texas Stadium before moving to the new stadium in Arlington.
Not least of all, the 2001 Patriots were considered a team of destiny - from winning games that they probably shouldn't have won (San Diego in Week 5, the Snow Game, the conference championship against Pittsburgh) and were lightly regarded in the Super Bowl before pulling off what many considered a huge upset. Likewise, these 2007 Cowboys are considered a team of destiny, having won games that they had no business winning (Detroit, Buffalo after Romo threw 5 interceptions, 2 that were run back for scores), and certainly would be considered a prohibitive dog if this matchup does come to pass.
Of course, I'm a Patriot fan so I hope that I am wrong here. But, as Chris Berman always says, "That's why they play the games." Booyeah!
And finally, the Patriots need to figure out a way to work this into the game presentation before the playoffs: During Boston Celtics home games, once the game is in the bag, they play "Shake Your Booty" while showing fans of the Celtics dancing in the stands intersperced with '70s clips from American Bandstand. The money clip, as it were, is a shot of this dude, GINO, who as Bill Simmons put it has "a scary, George Lucas-looking beard" and with "Kevin McHale's arms (on a 6-foot frame)" Anyway, the fans eat it up, and when they show GINO (actually a cat wearing a Gino Vanelli tour t-shirt), the crowd goes bananas.
Hey, they had Youkilis, Papi and Schill at today's game with the trophys (which I'm pissed I missed out on BTW). Why the hell not this?
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